Unfortunately, for some Christians, a panic attack caused
by the fear of making the wrong life choice has another
insidious dimension to it. Since they cannot control it or
make it stop, and because it is accompanied by a distinct
lack of peace, they erroneously misinterpret the panic attack
as God guiding them. A common expression not found in
the Bible is, “Let the peace of God guide you.” It
embarrasses me to admit that for many years I thought
panic attacks were God guiding me.
Mistaking panic attacks as being God’s guidance
actually makes the panic attacks worse, as such Christians
in their eagerness to obey God are (unnecessarily) terrified
of disobeying Him. A verse which used to torment me
when I resisted and fought against a panic attack was 1
Samuel 15:22 “Does the LORD delight in burnt offerings
and sacrifices as much as in obeying the voice of the
LORD. To obey is better than sacrifice.” As I drew closer
to depression as 1989 wore on, I had an attack and lost my
peace every time I was faced with a major decision. Every
time I tried to take a step forward, an attack (which I
misinterpreted as God’s guidance) would send me reeling
two steps backwards. In the end, I was too scared to make
decisions any more. 18/2/1990 – 'I’m scared to commit to
anything, such as joining a new church, getting a girlfriend,
buying a computer, etc, in case He says no. It’s got to the
point that I won’t do anything in case God says no.'
Can you imagine the relief I felt when I discovered
that panic attacks were not God’s guidance, and that
ignoring them was not disobeying Him?
The most bewildering aspect of mistaking panic
attacks as God guiding us is trying to work out exactly what
God is trying to say (since He is not actually saying
anything). When severely depressed I was frequently
afflicted by cyclic panic attacks over a period of months.
These were associated with a large range of fears, most
telling me that I was supposed to be doing this or that. Here
is a diary entry showing the exasperation I felt at that time.
15/3/1990 – I feel like saying, “What sort of God are You to
do this to someone, and why don’t You speak clearly? All
You have to do is speak to me or give me a vision, etc, and
I’ll obey, but what is this ‘Guess what I’m saying with the
hit and miss affair [when I take away your peace to guide
you.]’ ”
Before I became depressed, one thing that reinforced my
belief that losing my peace due to a panic attack was God’s
voice, was that every time I gave into the panic attack fear,
the attack ended and my peace returned immediately. For
example, once I was about to leave my job, enter part time
ministry and look for a part time job. The massive panic
attack which followed ceased as soon as I decided to turn
down the offer for part time ministry and remain at my job.
However, when I became clinically depressed,
giving into a panic attack and doing what it appeared to be
'saying' no longer stopped the attack. The attack just kept
coming back, normally by switching immediately to
another fearful thought, or topic. This was because while
suffering from depression, we are in a state of constant
anxiety. This was when I got my first real clue that the
attacks and the lack of peace were not God’s attempt to
guide me, but something else. Being convinced of this was
another matter entirely.
“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you
free." John 8:32
Finally in April 1990 I saw a Christian counsellor. She told
me that I was suffering from depression, and assured me
that the panic attacks and lack of peace were NOT God
attempting to guide me. She said that I had been placing my
trust in following a lack of peace as guidance – “It’s always
worked before” – instead of in Him. Through her
counselling, prayer and Bible study, the Lord taught me the
following truths, which set me free from the erroneous
belief that panic attacks were God guiding me.
Isaiah 9:6 ‘For to us a child is born, to us a son is given,
and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be
called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting
Father, Prince of Peace.’ Jesus is the Prince of Peace, not
the Prince of a lack of peace.
John 14:27 “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I
do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts
be troubled and do not be afraid.” It does not say “My lack
of peace I give to guide you.”
by the fear of making the wrong life choice has another
insidious dimension to it. Since they cannot control it or
make it stop, and because it is accompanied by a distinct
lack of peace, they erroneously misinterpret the panic attack
as God guiding them. A common expression not found in
the Bible is, “Let the peace of God guide you.” It
embarrasses me to admit that for many years I thought
panic attacks were God guiding me.
Mistaking panic attacks as being God’s guidance
actually makes the panic attacks worse, as such Christians
in their eagerness to obey God are (unnecessarily) terrified
of disobeying Him. A verse which used to torment me
when I resisted and fought against a panic attack was 1
Samuel 15:22 “Does the LORD delight in burnt offerings
and sacrifices as much as in obeying the voice of the
LORD. To obey is better than sacrifice.” As I drew closer
to depression as 1989 wore on, I had an attack and lost my
peace every time I was faced with a major decision. Every
time I tried to take a step forward, an attack (which I
misinterpreted as God’s guidance) would send me reeling
two steps backwards. In the end, I was too scared to make
decisions any more. 18/2/1990 – 'I’m scared to commit to
anything, such as joining a new church, getting a girlfriend,
buying a computer, etc, in case He says no. It’s got to the
point that I won’t do anything in case God says no.'
Can you imagine the relief I felt when I discovered
that panic attacks were not God’s guidance, and that
ignoring them was not disobeying Him?
The most bewildering aspect of mistaking panic
attacks as God guiding us is trying to work out exactly what
God is trying to say (since He is not actually saying
anything). When severely depressed I was frequently
afflicted by cyclic panic attacks over a period of months.
These were associated with a large range of fears, most
telling me that I was supposed to be doing this or that. Here
is a diary entry showing the exasperation I felt at that time.
15/3/1990 – I feel like saying, “What sort of God are You to
do this to someone, and why don’t You speak clearly? All
You have to do is speak to me or give me a vision, etc, and
I’ll obey, but what is this ‘Guess what I’m saying with the
hit and miss affair [when I take away your peace to guide
you.]’ ”
Before I became depressed, one thing that reinforced my
belief that losing my peace due to a panic attack was God’s
voice, was that every time I gave into the panic attack fear,
the attack ended and my peace returned immediately. For
example, once I was about to leave my job, enter part time
ministry and look for a part time job. The massive panic
attack which followed ceased as soon as I decided to turn
down the offer for part time ministry and remain at my job.
However, when I became clinically depressed,
giving into a panic attack and doing what it appeared to be
'saying' no longer stopped the attack. The attack just kept
coming back, normally by switching immediately to
another fearful thought, or topic. This was because while
suffering from depression, we are in a state of constant
anxiety. This was when I got my first real clue that the
attacks and the lack of peace were not God’s attempt to
guide me, but something else. Being convinced of this was
another matter entirely.
“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you
free." John 8:32
Finally in April 1990 I saw a Christian counsellor. She told
me that I was suffering from depression, and assured me
that the panic attacks and lack of peace were NOT God
attempting to guide me. She said that I had been placing my
trust in following a lack of peace as guidance – “It’s always
worked before” – instead of in Him. Through her
counselling, prayer and Bible study, the Lord taught me the
following truths, which set me free from the erroneous
belief that panic attacks were God guiding me.
Isaiah 9:6 ‘For to us a child is born, to us a son is given,
and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be
called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting
Father, Prince of Peace.’ Jesus is the Prince of Peace, not
the Prince of a lack of peace.
John 14:27 “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I
do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts
be troubled and do not be afraid.” It does not say “My lack
of peace I give to guide you.”
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